Monday, March 26, 2012

My baby is a little girl

It’s official we’ve hit the terrible twos and I do not feel prepared at all. I actually feel completely lost.
My sweet little girl who was happy just to hold my hand and watch pleasantly, is now exploring her environment and testing her independence. This translates to straying to far from mommy and climbing on furniture after I told her it’s not cool. She has also taken to biting her friends at daycare, which I am certainly not impressed with and addressing immediately.

I knew parenting would be hard, I expected it. It is a different kind of hard, one you could never prepare for, when you become a parent you have all these preconceived notions and expectations that seem like the answers. Then the baby comes and challenges every single one of those options. I met Alyson Schafer, psychotherapist and Canadian parenting expert and she reaffirmed that I needed to throw all those preconceived notions and solutions out the window and roll with the punches. I need to remind myself daily about this.

My Lil’ Cupcake is her own person, and I can not control her, to a degree. I am responsible for teaching her. I AM RESPONSIBLE. The past few days, I have come to realize that she will learn a lot more from me if I model behaviour rather than react to behaviour. I need to show her how to act by doing. It is especially clear that she learns more from seeing and doing. I know she is not perfect, and neither am I. Most importantly I need to remember she is still learning and that how I handle the situation will teach her more than anything else. I have to keep my cool, ignore the behaviours that I don’t approve of, teach her lessons in socialization by encouraging gentle, friendly behaviour and encourage her and praise her with positive reinforcements. Sure, I could bribe her, use fear and self-doubt, but in the long run, what does that teach her? I need to lead by example and let her know what is right and wrong in her actions.

Many people told me parenting is the hardest thing they have ever done, I am up to the challenge - a challenge that scares me, because I am responsible for her and who she will ultimately become. I want her to be confident, considerate and reliable. I want her to be able to think on her own and make the best decisions, not worry about what others think – I know that comes in the teenage years and we will have to cross that steep and rickety old bridge when we get there.

Over the past few days as my Lil’ Cupcake transitioned from a baby to a toddler embarking on independence, I have really been conscious of her behaviours. This past weekend was extremely hard and I came to the slow conclusion that things need to change, ASAP. I spoke to a friend’s sister who specializes in child psychology, and she recommended a few board books by Elizabeth Verdick to help the Lil’ Cupcake with manners, and understanding. I am going out tonight to my local chapters to pick up “Teeth are not for biting,” and “Hands are not for hitting.” The Lil’ Cupcake loves to read, so she may find these books entertaining. My sister-in-law who is also a child care provider also recommended the books. Two recommendations, both with multiple children and experience teaching children, I trust their recommendations.

Just to be clear, I am still nervous about what’s ahead of me as I fling myself head first into the Terrible Twos. However, one can only hope that they will be a piece of cake, or a little kinder than to the upcoming Trying Threes and the Fu*king Fours. Lord help us if I don’t own stocks in Starbuck and Dirty Laundry Wine by the time the Lil’ Cupcake turns into a teenager.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

I’m pretty sure I am the only person out there who has yet to read: Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Twilight, and now the Hunger Games.

For some reason, I am just not inclined to read them. I actually have little desire to read them or watch the movies. Is there something wrong with me? I don’t know what all the hype is about, probably because I did not read the books. I am sure they are amazing books, they would have to be because of the grossing sales, but please some one explain to me why people are in a tizzy.

I blame it on one of my co-workers. We have very little in common and she is obsessed with pop culture. She knows which Kardasian is dating whom, which marriage is on the fritz and can tell you the ins and outs of the werewolf and vampire. I don’t even know which one is a vampire or the werewolf, is one of them named Ron. Ok, I’m not that bad, but I know which character belongs in which story – kind of, but not personally. I’m not on a team and I don’t have a twig wand or a ring, and I am not sure what objects are sacred in Hunger Games, but I am sure there are some.

I claim I don’t have time to read, but I am trying to read 100 books this years. I am making the time to read books that interest me. These books were written for young adults and teens. I guess I just don’t get it, and never will. I may in the future read these books, when the Lil’ Cupcake is interested, so we have something to talk about, but in the meantime, I’ll continue to read my hodgepodge of mismatched genre books.

So, while millions of people sit in their theatre seats at midnight anticipating the screen to light up and bring their favourite characters to life, I will be at home sleeping, hopefully. Here’s to what I am sure another box office hit that I will miss.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Days of the week

Wow, the days of the week/ February flew by. Sorry for not entertaining you. I can't believe how busy it has been. Here's a recap:
- I started writing for Urban Infant, so exciting
- Work has been ridiculously busy.
- Getting ready for our trip to Abbotsford/Vancouver/Seattle
- Tweeting back and forth with my tweeps: check out who tweeted me back, insert dork.
- Trying to figure out what to wear for our family photos with Carol-Ann Photography when we are in Vancouver
- Ensuring we have clean clothes, healthy food and generally breathing.

Amongst that, DH travelled to Vancouver for his buddy's stag, leaving the Lil' Cupcake and I alone for the weekend. It was a snowy weekend so we hung out, played, ran some errands and generally didn't do to many crazy things. Unlike, what I am sure my hubby and nine other guys got up to. Especially if this is any indication of how their night went.  This was one of many photos I recieved during the day of the stag, and in my opinion, the most humourous.

I guess boys will be boys. But now I wonder if DH was cheated out of a wild and crazy stag, because all he got was a day out in Edmonton that included running havoc on West Edmonton Mall. Congrats Zallisers, can't wait to see you guys get married.

Friday, February 24, 2012

Oh how the mighty shoe falls

Now that I am older and a mom, I feel like my style has gone out the window. I haven’t traded in my dress pants for lululemons, but I have traded in my stilettos for more practical ballet flats.

Out for lunch the other day, I sat talking to my girlfriend about how in our younger days we spent eight to twelve hours wearing the highest and more fashionable heels we could find. And we did not only wear them out to the clubs or events, we wore them to work. Some times they were a conservative one inch kitten heel and some days called for the three inch power black heel. But every day we wore a pair of heels, our closets equipped with shoes to fit any occasion. Three pairs of different black heels were a must. A pair of stylish kitten heels matching our cute flowy summer dresses waiting for the snow to thaw and a pair of fierce fuschia pink with metal spiked heels sat ready and waiting for a night out dancing.

At that time, I had 37 pairs of heels, not just shoes, but heels. Brown ones, pink ones, patterned ones, sparkly, beaded and flip flop styles. I dreamed of owning a pair of Blahnik's, Choo's and one day Louboutin's,  I loved my shoes, and I still do. But now that I am older, I find I can’t wear heels for very long anymore. I know they aren’t good for my bones, back or feet, but some days I still long to wear my pretties.

The Lil’ Cupcake is already getting into the shoe fetish. She is particularly drawn to the fierce fuschia pink with metal spiked heels that sit in my closet bagging for an occasion to be worn. But now that I don’t go out dancing very much, they hardly see the pavement, unless the Lil’ Cupcake is playing with them.

After my dear friend D and I recalled our current work and everyday shoe collection made up of a pair of Toms for casual Friday, a pair of Uggs for walking in the snow, and a pair of black high gloss patent leather ballet flats for work, she sadly said “Oh how the mighty shoe fiends have fallen.” I thought it happened because I was a mom, but D doesn’t have children, and she has also fallen victim to comfort and flats.

Sadden by our new found realization that our fashionista selves are getting lazy, we decided spring is just around the corner, and we need to shop and find key pieces, blouses, pants, and SHOES. Off the Pinterest we go, to find our new improved and mature fashionista selves. Now if I could just figure out an awesome style for my hair. If anyone wants to have a makeover day, I give you permission to call me up.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Timi & Leslie Giveway

Diaper bags, the go to accessory when outing with the baby. Have you seen the Timi & Leslie Diaper Bags. Drool. They are fantastic, fabulous and functional. I love them. I recently purchased one, and I am in love. I loved it so much, I grabbed two, one for me and one for a friend who is expecting in July. We both love our diapers. It comes with everything, including a cute little wristlet for mom to stash the purse essentials, debit, credit and starbucks card.

If you haven't checked them out yet, head on over, I'll wait...Ok, now that your back, you must enter the Plush Little Baby Giveway for the newest colour Cocoa Brown Annette Bag. Another drool worthy bag. And if I haven't convinced you, and it's free hasn't convinced you, how about the idea that it is the bag that Celeb mom's like Jessica Alba, Victoria Beckham, Alyssa Milano, Courtney Cox, Angelina Jolie, Nicole Kidman and Faith Hill all carry one.  Alright now, go and entre the Giveway. Because it is FREE, and really who doesn't like free.

10 things about me

Not too long ago the world was a big place, but with the introduction of the World Wide Web, and new social media tools always popping up, the world seems as though it is getting smaller.

Sure you may have a mutual friend with someone across the ocean, a twitter connection with someone backpacking through Europe, but do you really know that blog writer? Over the past two years, I have been following some great blogs. Through the blogs I have learned a lot, but do I really know them. Not really, I don’t know their likes, or hates or what makes them, them.

In an effort to personalize and connect with you, my readers, I wanted to share 10 things about me that make me, me.

1. I love oranges, but I can’t eat them because they give me migraines. Boo.
2. I fell off a road and tipped over a 300-hundred ton truck when I was 18 years old.
3. I can’t get anything accomplished if the area is messy or untidy.
4. I am an only child
5. Sometimes, I wish I had siblings
6. I have no fillings, crowns or any sort of dental measures in my mouth
7. Goal for 2012 is to read 100 books.
8. I bite my nails
9. Pop makes me sneeze and hurt my throat, so I have to put water in it to tame the carbonation, and yes, people make fun of me.
10. I love the mountains, it is one of my favourite places to rest and relax.

There you have it, 10 things about me, which was actually quiet hard to do. Leave me a comment about something that makes you uniquely you.

Friday, February 10, 2012

I am mom, hear me roar

The past week, Twitter and the blogsphere has been blowing up about mom-wars. Here's my response.
Me, the Lil' Cupcake and my mom in Kauai last Christmas

Initiation is nine months, hours of painful labour, teething and sleepless nights. Building a family, raising a child and harbouring fond memories of each delicate moment is the invisible reward in which we seek.

My uniform is simple, a ponytail, comfortable Toms and whatever clean clothes are seen first when I stumble from the bed. My weapon of choice, a classic tote slung over the right shoulder ready with an arsenal of equipment for any climate, season or mishap. I am Mom.

I wear split-up, snot and slobber as a badge of honour. I often have smears, smudges and unidentifiable messes on my clothes. They are my battle wounds that I wear proudly and signify that I am a member of the not-so-secret society of warriors. I am Mom.

There is no special handshake or card; we are identified by the babies on our hips, the small hands in our hands, and the pictures on our phones.

We are gold card carrying member of the Starbucks club, Tim Horton's or Second Cup, which help us stay awake. We drink coffee like a champ and can pee faster than Michael Phelps can swim a lap. I have hearing that can put a dog to shame, and have hugs that can stop crying in midstream. We are Moms.
My little hawaiian princess. Photo by Modern Twist Photography

The future holds many decisions, lessons and rewards. The unknown is scary and exciting. Each milestone reached, each obstacle achieved, and every problem solved brings exhilaration only known by a mom.

With a nod and a smile, we are the same. Some will judge, others will snicker, but respect should be mutual. In the end, we all have a common goal: to raise happy and kind little people. No matter the choices we have each made for our little humans, we have made the best decisions for us.

Respect is mutual. We are the voices for our children, and we are Moms.